


say his name

by sedhoneybunny (amazhengs)



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossdressing, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gay Panic, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Tsundere Wooyoung, broke college student wooyoung, chaebol!san, finally a new plot new story, initial aggressively-straight-wooyoung, panicked gay Wooyoung, rich boi san, san is out but really good at pretending to be straight, specifically pretty boys in stupid situations where they end up in a skirt, there's gonna be a lot of cussing and dirty jokes bc thats literally the entirety of my humor, why is my favorite trend pretty boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22222825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amazhengs/pseuds/sedhoneybunny
Summary: he was just another broke college kid who wanted some extra cash but he wasn't sure if getting convinced to be the fake fiancée of the school's most sought-after bachelor was worth it.
Relationships: Choi San & Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	1. hello stranger

If you looked at Choi San from a commoner’s perspective, there was no doubt that he was one of the people you would consider to be at the top of the food chain. On one hand, he was the guy in your Econ 101 class that would catch the attention of most girls, with a chiseled jaw and perfectly tousled hair that made you wonder how much time he spent in front of the mirror every day.

Don’t let that fool you though, he was anything but a narcissist.

Under the expensive-looking button downs he wore (the purple one was his favorite), he was the type to give the sweetest smile to anyone who struck up a conversation with him, lend pens as soon as he saw someone looking for one, and his dimples alone even made all of the TAs instantly fall in love with him.

So there’s a sweet, tall, handsome stranger that has a good personality and everyone loves. What was the problem?

You see, an average of five girls would approach him either in class, around campus, or even hit up his LinkedIn, only to get rejected by the same message.

“Sorry if you didn’t know this, but I like boys!” he would say with a dimpled smile that you just couldn’t get mad at.

So yes, the famous, very sought-after Choi San was gay.

Normally, one would be creeped out by someone watching them work out, nevertheless multiple people simply poring over you as you bench pressed, but San was used to it.

In fact, he would easily make conversation with the various girls who followed him to the gym only to thirst over his glistening biceps.

“Hi Esther, how computing class going for you this semester?”

“Amy, is everything okay with you and your roommates?”

“Grace! Did you need another meal swipe today? How many?”

An attractive boy he was, but he was pretty clueless when it came to foxy girls that would try their hardest to catch their attention with the shortest shorts and lowest-cut tops they could find. Despite all of their efforts though, the only thing they earned was a smile and a genuine offer of a towel to “cover up or you’ll catch a cold!! DDD:”.

This was where Hongjoong came in.

Only Kim Hongjoong would walk right into the student fitness center with skin tight leather pants, a black velvet bomber, and platform Docs, completely ignoring the protests from the front desk workers for not wearing “proper attire”. His unnerving confidence was seen through his stride (more like strut, tbh) all the way to the weights section, where he didn’t even have to push past the crowd of girls surrounding San.

Making a path for Kim Hongjoong was just an unwritten rule at the school.

“San, sit your ass up and face me.”

The younger raised both of his eyebrows in interest.

It only took one look from Hongjoong to get the crowd of girls to scurry away, in fear of him roasting some physical aspect about themselves.

As you can see, this was a frequent occurrence.

“What is it, Joong?”

“San, sweetie..” Hongjoong placed his hand on his shoulder, only to reel back in disgust after finding his hand covered in sweat. “You need to get a boyfriend.”

…….Huh?

“Wha-”

“Get a boyfriend, wear a rainbow flag as a cape, start crossdressing, I don’t know.” Hongjoong continued, wiping his hand off on San’s clean jacket. “But these bitches are getting way too caught up in their delusional fantasy that one day you’re just going to become straight.”

“Oh, I’m sure they’re just being nice!”

“Sannie….  _ sweetie _ .” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his perfect nose. “I wouldn’t have come to this place for sweaty barbarians myself if this wasn’t a problem- do you even realize what I had to do in my gen ed discussion??”

“Uh…”

“Some hoe tried to get your number from me and when I refused to give it, she tried to call my jacket FAKE!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THE AUDACITY?? IN FRONT OF EVERYONE???”

“Oh, I-”

“Not only that, but too many of these girlies try to act all ‘omg Joongie you know San right~~? Can you pass my number along uwu we should go shopping together sometime~~’ only to call me the f word when I refuse.”

“Oh no, Joong, I’m sorry about-”

“Hush.” Hongjoong put a ring-adorned finger over San’s lips. “Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do- I’m just sick and tired of these girlies thinking that getting all buddy buddy with me is the equivalent of getting the chance to fuck you.”

“And you want me to get a boyfriend to fix that?” San stood up, heading out of the weight room with Hongjoong following close behind. “How is that….”

“I feel like it would do you well, no?” Hongjoong mused. “Imagine having a tall, dark and handsome guy take care of you and keep all the het bitches away. Not to mention you would have someone to spent the nights-”

“Joong, are you talking about yourself?” San smirked, turning back to witness his tiny elder turn red and stomp his Docs.

“How DARE you?? I am THE most INDEPENDENT-”

San tried to stifle his laugh as he watched Hongjoong try to defend himself. It was pretty cute to watch his older friend’s soft and needy side break out of his RBF exterior, although it was pretty rare and only certain topics triggered it- relationships being one of them.

“-I do  _ NOT _ need a man to take care of me, and I CERTAINLY don’t want any of the dumbass questioning HETS to try and come for me, even if some of them are really hot…” he trailed off, watching a duo of tall boys in basketball jerseys fall over themselves while trying to race to the gym.

“Okay, okay, we get it.” San laughed, looking back as his elder with an infamous dimple-smile. “You’re a strong independent girl that needs no man.”

“Damn right I am.” Hongjoong scoffed, wearing a pout and playing with his painted pinky nail. “Anyways, just needed to rant for a little bit! Get back to working out and…… sweating, I guess?”

“I’ll see you back at the apartment!” San gave a little salute as he watched Hongjoong strut away and give one of the boys on the elliptical a devilish smirk. The way he stopped pedaling and almost got his sneaker laces stuck in the machine was a telltale sign that Kim “I can turn any straight guy to questioning” Hongjoong had yet again claimed another victim.

“A boyfriend, huh…” San muttered out loud before leaning down to get the cold water hit his lips. ‘Would having someone to care for actually be nice..? Or would it at least get some of the girls to stop their mission of trying to turn me straight?’

He was trying really hard to process what the purpose of a boyfriend would actually be and how a relationship would even progress.

‘How many dates am I supposed to go on..? What do I do with a boyfriend? Do I have to like…. walk him? Water him??’

“He’s a human being, not a goddamn plant, San.” he muttered, shaking his head.

He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the person basically yelling at him from the end of the hallway.

“Excuse me!”

“Hey, biceps!!”

“-Hey, get out of the way!!!”

_ “ **.....MOVE, FUCKFACE!!!!!! ARE YOU DEAF?** ” _

It was the last one that got him to snap out of his thoughts and look up, only to be met by a blur of orange and white colliding into him and forcing him past a door, and to the ground.

“Ow….!” he almost cursed, trying to look at the person currently on top of him. Before he could get a look at their face through his slightly blurred vision, they had already scrambled to their feet to peek through the crack of the door they had just fell in.

“Oh thank god, they ran past….” the person sighed, their head leaning against the door as their body fell into a relaxed, but defeated position. “I’m never doing this shit again, period.”

Once San’s vision cleared, he managed to stand up and brush off any debris he had on his clothes, although his back felt a little more than sore thanks to the person who had their fall softened by his body. From their back view, it was a girl, judging from the long hair and pleated skirt.

“I’m sorry!! I was getting chased by some of my dumb ass teammates and I accidentally dragged you in here.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure-!” San began, before stopping when the person turned around.

_ Whoa. _

_ Holy… _

_ Wait, since when were girls this pretty? _

Her face was an absolute work of art, he thought. Big eyes, a cute nose, and pouty pink lips greeted him, and the light makeup she wore only enhanced her beauty. Not to mention her skin was practically glowing, and strands of long hair fell perfectly around her face, making her look like some kind of cherub that ascended straight from heaven to the storage room they were in right now. 

She was  _ radiant _ , and even San himself was shocked.

Although what caught his attention were her eyes. She was wearing some sort of color lenses, along with liner and some soft glitter, but they still somehow looked so natural and were the kind of piercing eyes that held stories that San so desperately wanted to hear.

“Whoa.” he repeated, this time out loud.

“Whoa what..?” she questioned, a thread of annoyance crossing her face as she waved her hand in front of his eyes. San, however, completely fell for her little eyebrow twitch. “Hello? Earth to stranger?”

Even the little inflections in her voice were so  _ cute _ .

Without responding, San noticed more and more about the mysterious girl- it seemed like she was wearing some sort of cheerleading outfit in the colors of their school. Although he had never seen any of the actual cheerleaders wear it, the flashy pompoms she was holding were a dead giveaway. He recalled seeing a “26” on the back of her jersey earlier too- was that a boyfriend’s jersey number…? The girl seemed uncomfortable with her skirt, her fingers trying to pull the short hem down even if she was just standing still. San noted that she had quite nice legs, so he was confused as to why she would try to cover them.

It was the big colorful bow on the back of her head that completed the look, because no matter how hard she would scowl, he couldn’t see her as anything but an adorable present. Her pout didn’t help at all, especially not after San noticed the charming little mole on her bottom lip.

“S-Sorry.. what’s your name?” San asked, probably ignoring most of the questions she had asked him in the past thirty seconds. It was the first time in years that he felt his cheeks getting hot, and he was half scared and half fascinated.

“....Wooyoung.” she answered, blinking at him in confusion.

There was no way straight guys wouldn’t react to a girl that looked like this, San thought. Why was she confused?

“..Wow, you’re really pretty.” he finally blurted out.

Wooyoung stared at him for a few seconds with a blank expression, before she sighed and pinched her nose bridge, reminding San of Hongjoong a bit.

“I’m not going to suck your dick.”

“.........Huh..?”

“I’m not gay.”

“..How are you gay if you’re a girl?”

“...........Bro.”

“Yes…?”

“I’m a man.” ‘she’ stated matter-of-factly.

**_….what._ **

  
  


“I…. don’t…” San opened and closed his mouth dumbly, uttering a single, “How?”

It was only until Wooyoung reached up towards ‘her’ hair, only to pull it off and reveal a fluffy mess of short blonde hair. Without the long hair to cover his Adam’s apple, San could clearly see a man, albeit still a very pretty one.

“Sorry, I’m not into dudes.” Wooyoung shrugged, running his hands through his natural hair. “Strictly girls.”

“But why are you dressed like…” San looked at him up and down once more, half of his brain still not processing what just happened.

Wooyoung sighed, pulling down the hem of his skirt once more.

“Long story short, I lost some dumb bet to my friends and the loser basically has to be the basketball team’s “cheerleader” for a day and do embarrassing stuff like get them water, dance to girl group songs, act all cute and shit like that.” he explained, still wearing the pout. “But as soon as I walked into the gym.. I guess these dudes haven’t gotten action in a while and were delulu as hell because they literally started  _ swarming _ me to the point where I had to get out of there- hence me screaming at you from the end of the hallway.”

“Ah… that was you?” San recalled the faint voice calling out to him while he was stuck in his own thoughts, half distracted by the mental image of him dancing to “Cheer Up” in the outfit he was currently wearing.

“......I’m seriously considering if you’re deaf or not.” the boy gave him a deadpan look, replacing the wig on his head and brushing the stray strands of hair out of his face. “Now I have to somehow sneak into the other locker room to find my normal clothes and get out of this stupid outfit… never again.”

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in San’s head.

He quickly untied the jacket around his waist and draped it around Wooyoung’s shoulders before grabbing his hand and lacing his fingers in his.

Wooyoung didn’t even process what was happening before San pushed open the door leading outside.

“What the fu-?!?”

“Just trust me, okay?” San put a finger to his lips and showed a dimpled smile. “And don’t let go!”

He felt a sudden warmth in his face and ears as he slightly tightened his hold on San’s hand, the fruity scent of the jacket clouding his thoughts and distracting him from the amount of people that saw him.

“Dude, are you crazy?? Someone’s gonna recognize me!!!!” Wooyoung hissed, grabbing onto his hand tighter than he would’ve liked, hiding his face behind him. “Why are there so many people looking, dammit…..”

Well, who wouldn’t look if there was an attractive couple just casually waltzing through the gym?

“Have you eaten, _princess_ ?” San emphasized the pet name as he guided him through the rooms, giving Wooyoung the most genuine, gentle smile he had ever seen. “I’m sure you’re hungry after working so hard for the basketball team!”

Ah… so this was the plan.

It took him a few seconds to form words, and in the fear that someone would recognize him, Wooyoung looked right at this blonde stranger’s face, smiled, and nodded.

“O-Okay!! Let’s go get ice cream..?” he played along, seeing people look over at the two of them out of the corner of his eye.

“Won’t that give you an upset stomach? I don’t want my little cheerleader to get sick..”

Little cheerleader..

He was going to throw up.

“Oh no… _baby_..!” it scared and disgusted him how quickly he said it. “I'm okay, don't worry about me~”

He could see a smile tug on the corner of the blonde guy’s lips as soon as he uttered the honorific, to which he dug his fingernails harder into his arm.

“Whatever you say, princess~” San uttered, wondering why it made him so.. giddy to hear this male stranger call him something that every other girl did. “You can let go of my arm now, you know that right?”

Wooyoung didn’t even notice he was still grabbing onto his bare bicep despite them already standing outside the locker room, to which he immediately dropped and wiped his hands on his skirt, coughing and looking anywhere but at San.

“..Thank you?”

“Is that a question?”

“No!!” he snapped, his hands balling up into little fists. “I-I mean… thank you.. for helping me get over here.. I guess.”

“Hm.. I’ll take it.” San teased.

“Yah!!”

San wanted to laugh at just how he couldn’t take Wooyoung seriously when he was angry, especially in his current attire.

“By the way, I was being 100% serious before.”

Wooyoung looked up, cocking his head to the side.

_ Fuck, that’s so cute.. _

“About what?”

“You’re still pretty either way.”

Wooyoung pressed his lips in a straight line, both confused and upset at himself as he felt more heat build up in his face and ears.

It was only when he heard familiar voices coming from around the corner and the flash of white and orange- the basketball team jerseys- that he truly panicked and pushed open the door to the locker room.

“Um……....” he turned back to think of a response to the blonde’s comment (compliment..?) as the stranger looked on in amusement.

“I guess I’ll see you arou-?”

“I’M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE PU$$Y!!” Wooyoung blurted out, not thinking of anything else, before shutting the door and pressing his back against it. “Oh my god you  _ idiot _ .. At least you’ll never see him again.”

But it was only when the faint citrusy scent filled his thoughts again that he realized that he was still wearing the stranger’s jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ill leave what the cheerleader uniform looks like up to your imagination :^)
> 
> note: joong is genderfluid in this au- so he doesnt mind when san or ppl close to him refer to him as either he/she pronouns!!


	2. a proposal for a frat boy

He was a hundred percent- no TWO hundred percent sure that he liked guys.

But there was no doubt that in the solid minute before Wooyoung’s big reveal, it was the first time in a while that his face had felt that hot around (what he thought was) a girl.

Nothing had changed when Wooyoung had pulled off his wig either, so it wasn’t like he suddenly turned straight either.

So what was up with that?

Maybe he just had a crossdressing kink..

It was actually quite embarrassing how long he had taken to search through Facebook in the middle of his lecture, to which Hongjoong had peeked over his shoulder and let out a small sound of interest at.

 **princess joong:** ooh, who’s wooyoung? ;)))) a message from Hongjoong popped up on San’s laptop screen, distracting him from perusing through the endless Facebook profiles.

 **sannie:** ..no one.

 **princess joong:** do you not know his last name?? must have been a quickie then~

 **sannie:** literally stfu

San felt an elbow dig into his side, looking over at a scowling Hongjoong who immediately went back to texting.

 **princess joong:** if you weren’t such a dick, i could’ve used my sources to find your dream man..

 **sannie:** …continue

 **princess joong:** what does he look like?

 **princess joong:** how tall is he??

 **princess joong:** have you sucked his dick yet????

 **sannie:** he’s like.. a few centimeters shorter than me?

 **sannie:** he has blonde hair

 **sannie:** and he’s really pretty :)))

San didn’t know how to exactly word that he had thought this “dream man” was a girl at first- he was pretty sure Hongjoong wouldn’t look at him the same if he did.

 **princess joong:** san that lit rally does not help me at all.

 **sannie:** nvm then ill just cry about it alone

 **princess joong:** inch resting… i really thot you would go for a dom

 **sannie:** what why

 **princess joong:** hehe just a feeling

 **princess joong:** anyways is this him? [link]

San would never understand how Hongjoong did the things he did, but to his delight the profile he opened was that of the cute flustered boy he had met that weekend. Only instead of the mismatched short hair and cheerleader uniform, his profile picture had his blonde hair styled back and a low-cut cheetah shirt and blazer. He wore some smokey eye makeup and a variety of earrings but the smolder he was wearing in the supposedly candid picture screamed _heartthrob_ , and judging from the amount of girls in the background- _HETEROSEXUAL_.

 **princess joong:** judging from your expression it is!!

 **princess joong:** wait but this dude is het as fuck

 **princess joong:** SANNIE WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TRYING TO GO FOR THE HETS

 **sannie:** it’s complicated ill tell you later

 **princess joong:** ????????

San ignored the rest of his texts as he scrolled through his profile, passing by a bit too many basketball action shots and pictures of him posed with a whole entourage of similar-looking teammates. It was kind of cute how Wooyoung was usually the physically smallest out of the pictures, which was why there were a number of more pictures of him sitting down.

He almost couldn’t believe that this clearly heterosexual frat boy was the same “girl” that had gotten flustered when he complimented him and slammed the locker room door in his face.

His cursor hovered over the “Add Friend” button for a second, before a nudge from Hongjoong gave him his answer. A look at the clock signaled him to close his laptop and start stuffing his crude excuse for notes into his backpack, before the huge wave of students trying to exit the lecture hall could beat him.

“Bitch you better tell me right the fuck now why you chasing after a het is ‘complicated’.” Hongjoong interjected, hooking a finger in one of San’s backpack straps. “You do remember what I told you, right?”

“Okay but can we at least get out of this lecture hall first? I have a discussion right after this anyway, so you’ll have to wait till I get back to the apartment.” San tried pushing himself into the aisle, the flood of students already overpowering him. “Besides, I don’t know how you’ll react if you hear what I have to say- oops, sorry I-”

He looked up at who bumped into, only to see the same piercing eyes he hadn’t stopped thinking about for the past weekend.

“Sorry-” the hooded figure uttered right before he looked up. “Oh.”

While San recognized him immediately, it took Wooyoung a few seconds before his eyes widened and he shut his mouth, tightened his grip on his backpack, and bolted through the seat aisles to push through several students and run down a flight of stairs on the opposite side of the hall.

“He _is_ pretty, good catch!!” Hongjoong spoke up from behind.

“So you have a crossdressing kink. Or cheerleader kink.”

“SEE?? I TOLD YOU YOU WOULD BE-”

“Sannie, I’m not kinkshaming you, I’m just enlightening you.”

They were back at their apartment, with San being the one cooking them a dinner as usual, and Hongjoong scrolling through whatever new stuff that sold for cheap on Depop.

“Okay but Joong, is this like…… normal? Was I attracted to Wooyoung as a girl or was it because he is a man but he was just….. dressed like one?”

“I understand your dick might be very confused right now, but here’s the gag with sexuality.” Hongjoong looked up from his phone, clicking his tongue to get the younger’s attention. “It can change at any given time, so if you were attracted to Wooyoung dressed traditionally as both genders, then that’s that.”

“Oh..”

“But Sannie, you also met this obvious heterosexual like three days ago, and you’re already talking about him 24/7.” he chastised. “To be honest, I don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend with that face and not to mention… your thick, fat, wallet.”

While it was true San was from a nice family, it always reminded him of how there would also be people out there that would only treat him a certain way because of their sheer greed.

“The reason I’m remotely considering a boyfriend is because of what you told me about those girls in your gen ed class.” San explained. “I don’t you to suffer just because you’re close to me, that’s unfair.”

“Sannie, I’m not suffering, I’m just moderately annoyed.”

“Same thing. But to be honest I don’t know what I would do with one and I’m not particularly looking. Also a greasy het basketball player is definitely not on my sights.”

“Phew, for a second I thought you were actually going to go for the het and the amount of drama that would cause the girls….”

San’s ringtone went off, prompting him to take his phone out of his apron.

“Hello?”

“Sannie darling, why haven’t you called your mother? It’s been over a week.”

“Oh no…..” he covered the receiver, his expression telling Hongjoong everything he needed to know. “Hi mom..”

“Well, it’s a good thing I got a hold of you!! I’ve been talking to the Kims and they agreed that their daughter would be a perfect fit for you, and they wanted to set up a meeting this weekend.” his mother continued, San’s expression becoming worse with each word. “When’s your availability?”

“Ah… it’s with Hanna, right..”

“Also Sannie, please do try this time, your overall impression at the Lees last time was kind of strange.”

“Mom, I already said I’m not-”

“If you aren’t looking now, when will you look?” his mother snapped, her tone becoming more annoyed. “You’re poised to take over the company as soon as you graduate, and you’re going to need a family to do that with. I’m the only one thinking for your future and planning ahead, you know?”

Hongjoong stifled a laugh at how he could hear Mrs. Choi’s voice when it wasn’t even on speaker.

“Mom..”

“No ‘mom’ or ‘buts’. You’ll meet her at the Grand Park Hotel downtown at noon this Satruday, don’t be late and don’t bother to not show up, Sannie.” his mother declared. “Marriage is a precious thing, you should be grateful that I’m this involved!”

“But I-!”

“What did I just say?”

“.....yes, mom.” he sighed. “I’ll see you Saturday then.”

Hongjoong looked on, amused.

“So this is what it’s like being the son of a rich family~” he took a bite of the curry San poured onto his plate. “Your mother insisting that you need a girlfriend.”

“If only she knew.” he scoffed, sitting down across from the elder and pushing his phone far away from him. “It’s not even a girlfriend, she’s looking for _wife_ material.”

“I’m pretty sure the hoes that are always around are well-aware of that- which would explain why they’re trying to snatch your gay ass 24/7.”

“..Honestly it’s kind of a miracle that my mom doesn’t know.”

“Didn’t you say that the last time she heard about it, she called them ‘baseless slander’?” Hongjoong raised an eyebrow at the last two words.

“Unless I literally kiss a guy in front of her, I don’t think she’ll ever believe me.”

San wouldn’t call himself a mamma’s boy, but he wouldn’t dare to try get on his mother’s last nerve. She was a very generous, kind woman at first meeting, but was actually the most terrifying woman San knew.

Especially since his father never dealt with personal affairs like who his son need to marry in order to establish good ties with other industries.

He thought stuff like this only happened in dramas.

But despite all of this San still tried his best to be a good son, as his family did give him everything he ever wanted and more.

“Wait, pause.”

Hongjoong dramatically stood up from his seat, holding his hands up.

“I have an idea for how to fix my mild annoyance and how to get your mom off your ass for a while.”

“Oh?? What is it?” San looked up at him, almost knocking over his plate.

“Ask the pretty het boy to be your beard.”

A moment of silence.

“......why would I-”

“THINK ABOUT IT.” Hongjoong put his phone down, his eyes gleaming. “Judging from the way he dresses, he seems like the typical broke college student, right?”

“Sure..?”

“So if you offer to pay him a nice little price, why wouldn’t he do it?”

“I think it would be too much for his het brain to get all mushy with me.” San shook his head, but the suggestion lingered in his head.

“That’s not what I saw, Mister “I’m-gonna-lend-you-my-jacket”.”

“..You saw that??”

“I may have stayed behind to peek at a cute racquetball player..” he pursed his lips. “But he looked awfully comfy in your arms when you whisked him away to wherever you ended up going.”

“Also, it didn’t look like he enjoyed wearing girl clothes? So why would he…”

“San, I don’t think you can see it from a peasant perspective.” Hongjoong leaned into his face closer. “Broke college students and money are magical combination.”

“I feel like he’s gonna deck me if I try to approach him again.” San scoffed, thinking about how Wooyoung almost broke his nose by slamming the door in his face so quickly. “You should have heard the last thing he said before he-”

“Also, Choi San, do NOT try to tell me that you don’t want to see him in a skirt again.”

“I-!”

San didn’t want to admit that the tips of his ears heat up as the image of Wooyoung turning around for the first time replayed in his mind.

“With your money and my world-famous styling, we can repel all the thirsty girls and keep your mother at bay until you finally manage to convince her that you like dick.”

“I mean…. I can try asking whenever I see him next?” San reluctantly agreed, his mind still clouded with the image of Wooyoung’s face turning pink before he disappeared into the locker room with his jacket.

Would he ever get that back, by the way?

Some invisible force had taken over his body and managed to get Wooyoung out of the lecture hall and away from the raven-haired stranger that day.

The way he never got his name.

Was it rude of him to run away? After all, he still had his jacket in his backpack to give back to him.

“Stupid….” he muttered to himself, pulling his hood down over his face, probably to cover a faint blush as flashes of that day came back to him. “Who calls a guy pretty……”

It was like fate said a big fuck you to Wooyoung, because the very person he ran away from was the first person that looked up from his seat in his Wednesday discussion, even though he swore he had never seen him there until this week.

“Woo!! Get your ass over here!” a deep voice boomed from the back of the classroom.

Wooyoung almost physically let out a sigh of relief from hearing his friend Mingi’s voice, his fiery red hair catching his attention and prompting him to slip through the desks and plop his backpack down on the ground before facing anywhere but towards the stranger.

“You good, bro?” Mingi asked, pulling back Wooyoung’s hood before he could even try to stop him. “You look red?”

“I just ran over here.” he lied, pushing up his glasses leaning on his head strategically so that he wouldn’t have to see _him_ out of the corner of his eye.

“Bro.. I don’t know where you were but this past weekend the boys were tripping over some chick that walked into our practice.” Mingi immediately dove into his story, looking at Wooyoung like an overexcited puppy, “I only got a glimpse of her but dude ... a literal goddess.”

“Shit, really? I must have missed it.. What did she look like?” Wooyoung settled into the conversation, relaxing a bit when the TA walked into the room and started setting things up.

“Dude, her hair was so shiny and she looked so shy and shit it was really cute actually…..” Mingi laid back in his chair, daydreaming. “It was pretty refreshing since all the other cheerleaders usually come in looking for attention, y’know?”

“.....Did you say cheerleader?”

“Yeah, she was wearing an orange skirt and everything! Not to mention her ass-”

“Actually, I did happen to see her!!” Wooyoung interrupted, covering more of his face with his hoodie sleeve and realizing that the “goddess” his friend was daydreaming was in fact, him. “Honestly I don’t think she’s all that!”

“Huh?! Bro, do you have eyes??” Mingi questioned, grasping the edge of the table. “Maybe she’ll come around again this weekend and we can get a better look because that can’t be the last time I see her..”

Oh, Mingi..

“By the way, dude, I can’t believe you skipped out on your punishment- Seonghwa and Yunho are gonna come for you _hard_ this week.. Especially after they had to convince the cheerleaders to give them a uniform just for you.”

He wanted to shake his fiery-headed friend and yell at him, “I WAS THERE YESTERDAY, DIPSHIT!!” so badly, but didn’t want to risk what embarrassment there would be if he and the other teammates knew that the “cute girl” they were all trying to get at yesterday was in fact, their tiny but loud point guard.

Who knows, maybe they would make a frequent thing..

Wooyoung shuddered.

“Ah…. I guess they’ll just be harder on me then.” he tried to shrug, but didn’t even want to think about what the others had in store for him at practice. “But there’s no way I would be caught dead in that outfit, and you know this.”

“Fair enough.” Mingi nodded. “But at least you know you’ll be around if that girl ever comes around again.”

“Haha… yeah..”

Wooyoung flinched when he saw the back of the strangers head turn ever-so-slightly towards him, a part of him wanting to bolt out of the classroom altogether.

“Song Mingi?” the TA called out.

“Here!!”

“Choi San?”

“Here!” the blonde stranger raised his hand, a clear voice ringing in Wooyoung’s ears.

San…… so that was his name.

The rest of the discussion was spent just working away at a useless worksheet as Wooyoung looked up every few minutes to see if San was doing anything while Mingi droned on about his latest plays with a few more gushy comments about cheerleader!Wooyoung.

Maybe he shouldn’t have bet that he could make fifteen shots in a row, but it wasn’t his fault the rest of his perverted teammates wanted to make the punishment what it was.

Also where the hell did they get a cheerleading uniform in his size?? He knew he was one of the smallest on the team but the whole thing just felt like a giant middle finger to him.

Mingi and Yunho, along with a few other members on their recreational basketball team had both rolled on the ground laughing for a minute straight when he had missed his fifth shot, to which all Wooyoung could do was kick them while they were down.

“IT’S NOT FUNNY!!” he had yelled, growing increasingly more desperate. “WHAT KIND OF PERVERTED ASS PUNISHMENT IS THIS?”

“Oh my- HAHAHAHAHAHA- I can’t wait to see this- HAHAHAAHAAHA!!!” Yunho got out in between laughs.

Their captain Seonghwa came up behind Wooyoung, simply handing him a shopping bag and giving him a smile- almost pitiful.

“Seonghwaaaaaaaa….” he whined, holding up a finger and pouting. “Give me another chance..?”

His heart kinda broke when the elder shook his head.

“These were on your terms, Wooyoung, fair and square.” he simply stated, giving him a pat on the head. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not sure if I’m going to enjoy seeing you in that outfit.”

Fast forward two days, as he very reluctantly walked into the gym with a giant bag of water bottles, uniform and pompoms and all.

“Fuck this, fuck this fuck this, fuck this…….” he muttered under his breath, the weird breeze up his legs giving him anxiety.

It was when three of his teammates walked in and caught sight of him that he prepared himself for the worst jokes and insults that would come to him yet.

“Whoa, you’re a new face.”

“How come we’ve never seen you around?”

“Wow…. you’re reakky cute.”

……..Was this a joke?

“What are you talking about?” he snapped, his voice coming out squeakier than he had liked it to be. “It’s me, Wooyoung!”

A moment of awkward silence.

Oh god, did he just bring embarrassment on himself?

The three guys started laughing, clutching their stomachs.

“That damn runt, Wooyoung..”

“Did some short blonde put you up to this? He really thought he could skip out like this, huh….”

“No, really, I-” he started to argue.

“There’s no way he thought we’d be fooled by this.”

“Sohyun, it’s actually me though..” he interrupted, his voice becoming smaller.

“God, he even told her our names.” one of them scoffed. “That damn weasel.”

..Did they actually not recognize him?

“Anyways..” the last of the three turned to Wooyoung, scratching the back of his head. “Is there any way I would possibly be able to get your number...?”

“.....Huh?”

He looked up at the guy, searching for any sign of a teasing glint in his eyes or even the stifle of a laugh.

All he saw was the slight tinge of red on his cheeks and ears.

…...What the fuck?

“Those bottles look heavy, let me carry them!”

“Wait, no, I will!”

“Nah, dude I asked first-!”

He had the heavy bag of bottles basically snatched from him, and he looked on in interest as the basketball players fought over it.

“Wasn’t Wooyoung supposed to come and bring this stuff? He’s supposed to be our personal water boy today.” one of the players asked. Wooyoung immediately tensed up, grabbing his pompoms a little tighter.

“Sorry about this!” the other player turned to Wooyoung, looking at him straight in the eyes with nothing but infatuation. “If you stick around a little more, you might catch the runt of our team come in one of your uniforms!”

“Dude, that’s gonna be the best thing ever!! We need to get a picture in case he wilds out in the future again.”

‘What the fuck, I’m not a runt!!’

More guys started coming into the gym, and to his chagrin, immediately approached him.

‘I guess they really…. don’t recognize me, somehow..??’

However, it got to the point where he would try to leave the gym to go to the water fountain, and at least five guys would follow him and ask if he needed help, followed by more requests for his number.

He was mildly uncomfortable, but also mildly amused.

It got to the point where he had to run to try and get the players off his tail, which led him to run into the raven-haired biceps boy he was now monitoring in class.

The recap of the past weekend managed to get him through the rest of the class, to which he immediately passed the worksheet down the row and grabbed his backpack, ready to bolt out of there and take his afternoon nap.

Just thinking about the past weekend’s events made his head hurt.

Choi San had other plans, though.

He appeared in front of Wooyoung so quickly that he blocked his only path from getting out of the classroom, and even startled the blonde that his glasses almost fell off his face.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked simply.

“Hey bro, who are you?” Mingi slung his arm over Wooyoung’s shoulders, looking up and down San’s button down and expensive dress pants. “What business do you have with Woo?”

Bless you, Mingi.

“Mingi, it’s chill.” Wooyoung nodded, slipping out from under his arm. “I just… borrowed something from him that I need to give back!”

He looked like a confused puppy for a second, before nodding.

“Okay! Any friend of Wooyoung is a friend of mine!” he smiled before turning towards the door. “If you don’t want me to wait for you, I’ll see you at the courts later, Woo?”

“See you then!” Wooyoung waved to him, before following San outside of the classroom, to a little doorway tucked at the end of the hallway.

They stood there in silence for a good five seconds.

“Ah shit.”

San looked at him in surprise.

“I meant to keep your jacket in my bag so I could give it to you whenever, but I forgot it at my apartment..”

“Oh. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

..Interesting.

“So…..”

San reached up to scratch his cheeks, shifting his weight between both feet.

“I’m not really sure how to ask this so I’ll try to explain it.” he started. “Basically my family is just really adamant that I get into a relationship right now because of my future or whatever, and I’m really trying to get them off my case, so I was wondering if you could do me a favor-”

“I already told you, I’m not gonna suck your dick.” Wooyoung deadpanned.

“Oh my god, it’s nothing like that!!” San defended, watching the other raise his eyebrow and cross his arms, clearly uninterested. “You see..... I need a girlfriend.”

Pause.

A  _ what _ ?

“A what?”

“A girlfriend. I would take you- or the  _ other _ you, technically, on dates and meet my parents and we would just need to-”

“Choi motherfucking San are you hearing yourself properly right now?” Wooyoung scoffed. “Do I LOOK LIKE A-”

“I  _ know _ it’s a really weird request and everything but-” San tried to explain.

“What kind of perverted ass shit are you into-”

“-But just think of this as a favor!”

“For what?” Wooyoung snapped. “All this for accidentally taking your jacket?!”

“More like for dragging me into a locker room and almost giving me a concussion but-”

“This is so fucked up, I’m leav-” Wooyoung started heading towards the hallway, before San grabbed him by the arm, the look in his eyes completely changing.

“I’ll pay you a thousand for every date we go on.”

Wooyoung paused. He had barely managed to scrape by this past month in terms of rent, which would explain why there was only string cheese and a pack of Yerba in his fridge, so any form of money caught his attention.

“Fuck it, two thousand for every date, and you can name your price for bigger events with my family.”

Two thousand…… for like.. two hours?

The offer made him stand back and take in the fact that every single article of clothing San was wearing was some designer brand, from his button down to his shoes. It was like he saw the imaginary word “ **HOE** ” appear above San’s head, pink and glittery.

The way he wouldn’t have to worry about rent every month and actually spend money on things he wanted…..

But then again, what was the difference between this and being a stripper?

...Exactly, strippers get bigger tips.

“Absolutely freaking not.” Wooyoung said, pulling his arm out of San’s grip. “No amount of money is gonna buy my goddamn PRIDE.”

“Wait Wooyoung-”

Wooyoung, being the super mature college student he was, stuck his fingers in his ears, and started singing at the top of his lungs.

“ **LALALALALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU LALALALALA TAKE YOUR SUS SUGAR DADDY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE I LIKE GIRLS LALALALALALA~~** ”

The way San felt secondhand embarrassment for him.


	3. no head thoughts empty

The **WAY** that Wooyoung kept thinking about the things he could buy with an extra two thousand dollars.

He would literally not have to worry about his rent probably for the next year if he went on a d….. d… god, _he couldn’t even say it_. Even thinking about having that itchy wig on his head for more than 15 minutes made him shudder, especially if he would have to pretend to actually like the fucker.

As much as he didn’t want to think about San’s very strange but strangely tempting offer, there was something else he didn’t want to think about- the fact that the guy’s track jacket was just hanging on the back of his chair in his room.

“ _ You’re still pretty. _ ” the line echoed in the back of his mind, distracting Wooyoung from the lab he should have turned in two hours ago. He had been with plenty of other girls that basically threw themselves onto him, and it wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy the attention and other benefits that came with it.

There was something about the way San treated him.

Maybe it was different since he was basically in drag the first time he met him, but he normally hated the way Yunho or Mingi would take advantage of their height and take every opportunity to push him down with nicknames like “runt” or “small fry”.

So why did that stupid fluffy, warm feeling come around whenever San grabbed his hand and looked at him like he was the tiniest thing in the world?

It helped that he was like.. really good looking.

Wait, no.

“Fucking hell..”

“Do you need to see my postlab again?” a voice behind him almost made him jump out of his seat, only to see that his roommate had somehow managed to enter their room.

“Holy shit Junyoung, how are you so quiet all the time?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I needed to announce my entrance every time I entered our room.” Junyoung scoffed. “How was practice?”

“It’s later today, which is why I’ve been trying to do this lab for the past two hours.” Wooyoung twirled his pen in his hands. “I did not realize how much of OChem I needed to remember from high school, so I’m lowkey kinda fucked for the midterm…”

“I’ll send you my study guide, I went to office hours yesterday.”

“Junyoung, you genius.”

“No, I just actually study instead of sleeping with girls.”

Oop.

“Okay, to my defense I haven’t gotten with anyone for the past month!!” Wooyoung held a finger up. “I need to catch up this semester for training and school, like actually.”

“Can you explain this then?”

Wooyoung spun around in his chair, to see Junyoung holding the bright orange pleated skirt of his cheerleading uniform up, waving it around.

He could feel his face flush, thinking about his awkward interactions with his team and Choi San. He didn’t like to remember that day.

Shit.

“Uhh…. that’s……….”

“....Sure. Whatever. Save the excuses, as long as you don’t wake me up at 4am before our 9am midterm begging me to go over flashcards with you, I don’t really care what you do, but please do try to keep this off my side of the room, Woo.” Junyoung rolled his eyes, neatly folding the skirt and tossing it on to Wooyoung’s bed.

“Yeah.. sorry.”

“Did you ever hear back from those jobs you applied to over break?”

“I got a few interviews but haven’t heard back from most of them…”

“I’m guessing this is peak job searching season, so you probably won’t have much luck until later in spring?” Junyoung pursed his lips. “I’m sure there’s stuff you can do though, you still owe me for last month’s rent.”

Wooyoung physically winced thinking about his debt to his roommate for rent and for the couch he broke last month trying to practice his free throws.

“Oh yeah…. sorry……. Again…..” his voice became significantly softer. “What about the lab you work at? Do they have any openings there I can apply to now?”

Junyoung sighed.

“Woo, application deadline was last week, did you not apply?”

Shoot.

“Ah…..”

“I know basketball is important to you and all, but if you want to have money you want to spent and you know like… pay me back….” Junyoung lectured, despite being the younger one. “Also, can we talk about how the couch-”

Wooyoung stood up, almost knocking his chair over, and slung a jacket over his shoulders, all the while basically throwing his laptop and his notebook into his backpack.

“IT’S 5???”

“Uhhh…?” Junyoung stood back, hands thrown up defensively. “Are you good, bro?”

“I’m late for practice, they moved it up two hours today!! **FUCFUCKFUKCUFKC-** ” he scrambled to put on his shoes, all the while tripping over his own two feet. “I promise to pay you back Junyoung!! Also I’ll do the dishes when I get back, I promise!!”

Junyoung watched in amusement as Wooyoung stumbled out of their apartment, hearing a quiet “ _FUCK_ ” outside of their door as the elder probably dropped something down the stairs again.

“Wooyoung, you dumbass.”

* * *

“For someone who skipped out on their punishment, you have quite the nerve to show up late to practice, runt.” Yunho teased as soon as Wooyoung came running into the gym, sweat already beading on his forehead.

“Bruh, did you not get my texts beforehand??” Mingi sneered, throwing a basketball at the smaller, who jumped out of the way last minute.

Wooyoung immediately ran up to their captain, head already bent over and panting.

“Seonghwa, I-”

“I’m gonna let you take a thirty second breather before you take ten laps, Jung.” Seonghwa shook his head slapping him on the back a little too hard.

Wooyoung simply looked pitifully up at him.

“Puppy eyes aren’t gonna work this time.” Seonghwa warned, flicking him in the forehead.

“Hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…” he whined, before earning another flick.

“Ten. Now.” he pressed, watching as the younger let out sound of defeat before jogging away.

Now it was a known fact that Seonghwa babied Wooyoung to no end, but that was the exact reason he couldn’t just let him off, especially after he skipped out on his punishment for his stupid bet.

Or so they thought.

“Oh, looks like Wooyoung’s cute act doesn’t work on the captain anymore~” Yunho observed, watching the shorter sadly try to run around the gym.

“Yunho, give me five too.” Seonghwa suddenly appeared next to him.

“What the he-?”

“Do you want me to make it fifteen?”

The taller let out a groan before trudging behind Wooyoung.

“Woo, what’s gotten into you?” he caught up to the shorter, easily keeping up his pace. “The rest of them were already pretty pissed off that you skipped out on your punishment.”

“Doesn’t seem like it…..?” Wooyoung answered, watching as most of the guys were sitting by the doors, unusually quiet. “Did any of them even notice?”

“It’s only because this cute girl showed up instead of you, and they all went crazy and got sort of distracted.” Yunho continued. “You better pray she shows up again today so they forget about what you did.”

“Oh….. the.. cheerleader right?” Wooyoung almost couldn’t get it out. “I’ve heard.”

“Also….” Yunho mused, looking somewhat guilty.

“...What is it?”

“Captain found out about the locker…”

“WHAT??? HOW??!”

To sum things up, Yunho, Mingi and Wooyoung thought it would be a good idea to try to chase each other around in the locker room, to the point where Wooyoung tried so hard to get away from the taller ones that he decided that attempting to climb a locker door was a good idea.

In summary, he almost ended up with a concussion and almost got crushed by a row of lockers.

In fact, it was a miracle that Seonghwa had found out  _ now _ , especially since they did this while still lowkey smoked out from the night before.

“He’s making us split the cost… but he said since you were the one that actually tried to jump up on top of the lockers… he’s charging you a little more….”

Wooyoung stopped running, to look at Yunho with a bewildered expression.

“How much more..?”

“........”

“Jeong Yunho, how much more?”

“I think it was like a thousand som-”

“A THOUSAN-” he screamed so loudly he started coughly, alerting Seonghwa from across the gym.

“Jung and Jeong, did I say you could stop?”

“No…..”

Fuck.

Fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckcuckfuck FUCK!!!

With this whole thing, plus Junyoung’s rent, and whatever was due for his tuition and school stuff, he would need to work at least two jobs to pay everyone back within a reasonable time.

Two thousand………

For every date……

The offer suddenly seemed very lucrative.

But seeing the way the rest of his teammates looked  _ hungrily _ at the gym door waiting for a “girl” that would never come made him rethink things again.

“Everyone, start with your daily drills. Wooyoung, I need to talk to you.” Seonghwa’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

Shit.

“Oooooooooooooo!!” his teammates echoed, as if he was an elementary school kid that just got called to the principal’s office. He shot them a dirty look- not that effective as he thought.

“..Seonghwa, Yunho said-”

“Look, Wooyoung, you know I care for you.” he began.

Oh god, it was another one of Seonghwa’s lectures.

“But I can’t keep letting you off with things like these.”

“Seonghwa, I’m so sorry about the-”

“I know your punishment was embarrassing but you agreed to it and now the rest of the boys think that we don’t have some sort of honor code, and that makes me look bad as well- and I’m sure that wasn’t your intention.”

“Oh no, I-”

“But I need you to communicate with me, if you were that uncomfortable, we could’ve seen if we could have found an alternative, but skipping out altogether was  **not** okay.”

“Yes….”

“Also the locker situation-”

“Ah…. I’m sor-”

“Wooyoung, this is why I  _ stress  _ communication- if we didn’t get those lockers replaced, someone else could’ve actually gotten injured.”

“I’m sorry….”

Seonghwa took a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Just… how much do I owe?”

He sighed.

“Look, you don’t have to pay it back immediately but.. sooner would be better.”

“...How much?”

“I got them to lower it down to two thousand, but-”

“TWO-” Seonghwa had to cover his mouth, already expecting the reaction from the younger.

“The school is covering a big chunk of it, but they did need to hold some of us responsible for it, so if you want to set up a payment plan or something, I can help you.”

He wanted to cry, just calculating all of the money he just realized he had racked up in a single day.

It was the universe really said “Fuck you, Jung Wooyoung”.

_ Two thousand……. every date… _

Nope.

Absolutely not.

He refused.

Never.

“Also Wooyoung, I’m sure if you can buy that jacket, you’ll be able to pay off the school soon?”

“This jacket was $15 at City Target..?” Wooyoung argued, actually looking down and realizing that the white Gucci patterned jacket definitely was NOT his. “Oh.”

“I really suggest spending your money more wisely, especially with this upcoming season. If you need to take a break because of school or possibly job searching, let me know. There’s always a place for you.” Seonghwa gave him a tight smile and a single pat on the shoulder. “Also.. word of advice is that you hold off on going to tomorrow’s social just because the rest of the guys are still on edge on you skipping out. Next week should be fine, though.”

Great, now he was getting kicked from his own team’s weekly social just for some stupid mistake he made LAST semester.

“Hwa, I don’t want to quit though!! I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, I promise!!” Wooyoung tried defending himself.

Although his promises were really starting to sound empty..

* * *

It was weird for Mingi to see his friend in such a depressive mood, especially since they were both usually cracking out and bouncing off the walls during practice. Yunho had briefed him about the locker room situation, and while his debt wasn’t nearly as bad as Wooyoung’s he still sympathized with his fellow broke college student.

“Hey, Woo.” he slung his arm over his shoulder. “You good?”

His eyes looked more dead than usual.

“Mingi…… I’m so broke……”

“Ah..” he looked down. “How were those job interviews?”

The puppy eyes gave him his answer.

“It’s okay dude.. you’ll pay it back somehow… eventually…. you’ll find a way.” Mingi tried to be encouraging.

“Yeah.. somehow.” Wooyoung tried to give him a smile. “What time is your work shift tonight?”

“It’s another 8-5 shift, but I’ll be in the freshman hall so come visit me!!” Mingi waved, already changed into his work uniform. “We can talk mad shit, my supervisor is in the other dorms!”

“Uhuh, maybe..” Wooyoung half heartedly waved, slipping on the white jacket again.

What? It was cold and he didn’t have another jacket..

Besides, it smelled too nice to  _ not _ wear it.

The empty gym really hit different, especially since he was usually one of the first to run out of practice to grab some last minute fries at the dining halls.

“What the HELL are you gonna do now, Jung Wooyoung?” he asked out loud no one in particular. He trudged out of the gym, and out to the entrance of the gym to see that not only was it colder than he thought, it was pouring even though it was perfectly sunny when he walked over earlier.

So he had to walk back with no umbrella, to finish two labs due tomorrow and start studying for a midterm, all the while having a bottle of soju and a chocolate bar in his fridge with a $2k (and building!) debt.

The universe truly said, FUCK YOU, JUNG WOOYOUNG.

He simply sighed, preparing to get soaked.

But a shadow was cast over him and his arm was pulled back by something.

Some _ one _ ..?

“Now why would a cute little thing like you want to get soaked when I can conveniently prevent that?”

Despite the lighting outside of the gym being quite dim, the amount of jewelry the figure wore provided just enough light for Wooyoung to see their face. Their features were delicate, almost fairy-like, with big expressive eyes and a sloping nose. They wore a black crop top, black pleated skirt and sheer stockings, with silver cross jewelry and chains decorating their torso, all with an oversized black velvet bomber on top, that looked like it was about to swallow them. They were, surprisingly, the same height as Wooyoung (maybe even slightly taller due to their platform shoes), as he looked straight into their eyes, decorated with sparkles and stars that only made their gaze more intense. Their short hair was styled in waves, paired with a beret just as embellished as the rest of their outfit. The black umbrella they held over him was the plainest part of their entire ensemble.

“Oh. Hi.” was all he got out, surprisingly intimidated as the person stepped closer to him, as if to inspect him, to the point where he was pressed against the wall of the building. “Um…..ma’am?”

Why did he just call a college-age girl “ma’am”???

“ _Ma’am_???” the girl(?) repeated, obviously offended. “I get I’m pretty and all but I’m not hag enough to be called ‘ma’am’!!”

“Uh…” Wooyoung then caught sight of the person’s Adam’s apple, becoming both confused and slightly scared. “Sir…?”

Umbrella person rolled their eyes.

“I don’t care for pronouns, but please stop with the hag terms.”

“Sorry….”

“Anyways, why don’t we walk and talk?” they slung their arm in Wooyoung’s arm and dragging him out under the downpour. “Kim Hongjoong. If you haven’t heard of me.”

“Hongjoong…..” he repeated. “Oh, you dated some guys on the rugby team..?”

Hongjoong scoffed.

“‘Dated’ is too generous of a term.” he mused. “But that’s me!!”

“Ah…” Wooyoung nodded, still confused as to why this quite infamous fox from his year was latching onto him. “So wh-”

“Looking at your jacket, I’m sure you know of our mutual friend, hm?” Hongjoong run his hand down the designer logo on the sleeve. “A very handsome Choi San?”

_ Oh _ .

Hongjoong was San’s friend.

Why was he kind of unsurprised?

“..S-sorry I meant to give this back to him but I kept forgetting and-”

“Oh, you’re adorable.” Hongjoong chuckled.

“..Huh?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

All he could do was let out a weak laugh.

“I’m straight!! I only like girls so like..” Wooyoung trailed off, attempting to slip out of Hongjoong’s grip. “Did San send you after me to try to convince me to-”

“No no, he wouldn’t do that, he’s too nice to think of that.” Hongjoong shook his head, his cross earrings hitting against each other. “I just wanted to meet his new object of interest face to face.”

He was….. interested…?

Why was Wooyoung kind of… flattered?

‘Ew, that’s kinda fucking gay.’

“I already told him I wouldn’t do it, so no matter what you say, I refuse to put myself in that position- do you know how embarrassing it was to wear a skirt in public??” Wooyoung refused, trying his hardest to not make direct eye contact with the elder.

“Wooyoung, sweetie, have you not looked at my (very cute) outfit today?” Hongjoong teased. “It’s only embarrassing if you don’t have the correct mindset.”

“........”

“Anyways, San would probably kill me if he knew that I was doing this so here’s my pitch- the only reason why he asked you is because he knows of your entire debt situation. Including your living expenses and locker room incident.”

“Wha- how??”

“He has eyes and ears. AKA me!” Hongjoong pointed to himself. “Anyways, he figured he could help you if you just go on a few dates with him- and think about it, you’re essentially going to get pampered and doted on for hours at a time!!”

“I’m not a goddamn charity.” Wooyoung deadpanned. “And does he realize just how suspicious this sugar daddy business sounds?”

“Let me tell you right now, San is never the type of person to try and offer anyone anything suspicious. Literally ask anyone in your year, guaranteed.”

“Ah..”

“But from your perspective, what else are you going to do to pay back all the money you’ve managed to rack up in the past semester?”

“A job..”

“Oh, who’s hiring nowadays?” Hongjoong pressed. “Besides, this deal would only require you to clear up weekends and an occasional dinner. In fact, if you know his family, you’ll be treated like a princess, essentially.”

The title kinda triggered him.

“If he wants someone down to play dress up for him.. why don’t you just do it? It seems like you’d like the benefits.” Wooyoung questioned, genuinely curious as to why this strange character seemed to be selling him something that sounded too good to be true.

“Oh sweetie.. I would not be able to pretend to have feelings for that literal child.” Hongjoong threw his head back and laughed. “I have better things to do, but here I am.”

“...He said it was two  _ thousand _ for every date right?” Wooyoung asked slowly, trying to calculate how many it would take if and only  **IF** he decided to go along with this crazy scheme.

“Something like that.”

“......and it wouldn’t take up that much time, right?”

“Nope!”

“........and there’s free shit….?”

“More than you could ever imagine.”

Hongjoong watched carefully as the younger remained quiet for the remainder of the walk, observing how his expressions changed.

“One last question.” Wooyoung got out, a few feet away from his apartment.

“Hm?”

“What do you get out of this, Hongjoong?”

Interesting question.

Hongjoong simply smiled, and abruptly tilted up Wooyoung’s chin to get a closer look at him.

“I get a pretty new project to work on.”

There was something about Hongjoong, whether it be the way he dressed, the way he spoke, or just his presence, that made Wooyoung almost afraid to refuse him.

Or maybe it was just the prospect of money?

“Okay… say I do go through with this….. what do I have to do exactly?” he asked, part of him not believing he was actually asking this. “Isn’t his thingy tomorrow?”

“Come by my place tomorrow, 7am.” Hongjoong somehow managed to swipe Wooyoung’s phone and input his contact information already. “You’ll get your coin and San will be more than happy to get his mother off his ass, so it’s a win-win situation!”

Ha…. win-win..


	4. say my name- wait, what is it??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For visual reference....... https://twitter.com/iFANCYWOO/status/1268949086067097610?s=20

The last time he woke up this early was for a midterm.

And he was STILL late.

But he never thought he would be standing outside of an apartment that seemed way too nice to be in a college students’ price range, not knowing what was going to happen inside.

 **hongjoong:** outside code is 1026, apt 6211 at the end of the hallway

 **hongjoong:** the door should be open!

It was a good thing that he was advised to not go to his team’s Saturday social- saved him thinking of how to explain this to his teammates.

Wooyoung gulped a little before pushing the door knob him, a sweet scent hitting his nose. Something floral mixed with vanilla, maybe?

Holy shit, he didn’t know college students could afford this nice of an apartment. Everything was pristine, and white, almost as if no one ever lived in it.

Imagine having money.

Wooyoung couldn’t relate.

….That’s why he was in his situation now.

“Wooyoungie, you’re here!” he heard his airy voice call him from another room, and Hongjoong popped out, dressed quite normally, Wooyoung thought. A simple pair of jeans and a large striped shirt tucked into his pants, with another beret and a pair of round glasses. Compared to last night he now looked like every guy that passed by him on the way to class. “Come, come, into my lair we go!!”

“Lair..?” he questioned. “You look nice today, by the way.”

“Did I not look nice yesterday?” Hongjoong raised an eyebrow.

“I-I mean-!!”

“I’m just playing with you, dummy.” the elder scoffed, showing him a charming smile. “Okay so, first. Do you have any idea what’s going on today?”

Wooyoung shook his head, realizing just how much he didn’t know what was going on.

“All San said was that he had an event or something today..”

“Okay, what I know about the situation is that it’s at the Grand Park Hotel tearoom downtown, so I’m guessing attire is going to be somewhat nice.. but not too formal or it’ll look like you’re trying too hard….”

Wooyoung, for once in his life, sat on the floor of Hongjoong’s room ( _which was also incredibly spacious, jesus, international student money…_ ) obediently and waited for whatever was to come next. Part of him wanted to just say “Fuck it” and run away and just be in debt for however long on top his very obvious college debt, but he knew that this was the most direct way and probably the most viable option for him to make a quick buck and dip.

As long as feelings didn’t come into play.

‘ _What the fuck, why would feelings come into play? ..You’re being really fucking stupid right now, Wooyoung._ ’

“Okay!!” Hongjoong clapped his hands together, a gleam in his eyes as he turned to look at Wooyoung up and down. “I _think_ I know what we wanna go for!”

The younger simply blinked up at him, the habit of tilting his head coming back.

“My god, you’re too cute..” the elder gushed, grabbing his cheek and shaking him back and forth. “You haven’t showered yet, have you?”

“No…” he got out in between cheek squishes, wondering why he wasn’t fighting back.

Money does strange things to a man..

Hongjoong thrust a towel and some sweet smelling bottles into his arms before nudging him into the bathroom.

“Take a quickie and come back out, I’ll pull out some stuff you can try!” he sounded a little too excited for Wooyoung’s liking. “Oh, also~”

He placed a razor in his hand, with a simple little smile.

“Uhh…..”

“I want everything gone.”

Oh.

“What does that….”

_Oh, my._

"If whatever is in the bottle doesn't work, use that!"

_Oh, no no no no-_

“Hurry, hurry, we don’t want to be late.” Hongjoong ushered him into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him a little too loudly.

Wooyoung winced at the door slam, before taking in the sheer size of the marbled bathroom. Not to mention the towel he was holding was probably the softest thing he had held today, the thought that his raggedy gray towel at his place was probably thrown somewhere on his bed didn’t help.

“… Nair….?” he read off the bottle, cringing at the pastel floral design.

The shower was uneventful, but he wanted to marry the water pressure Hongjoong’s apartment got right there on the spot. He only noticed that his skin was smoother than usual when he stopped out of the shower, followed by an overly sweet smell that made his head spin.

Maybe the slight itching he had felt in the shower too was because of whatever was in the bottle..

He exited the bathroom to see Hongjoong with a huge pile of clothes at his feet, a plethora of colors and materials- namely a bit too much pink for Wooyoung’s liking.

“Oh, you’re already out!!” he looked up, essentially dragging Wooyoung to the seat in front of the vanity, where he already had the entire store of Sephora laid out on the table.

Wooyoung gulped.

“Would you like to see the process or wait for the surprise?” Hongjoong asked, pulling back Wooyoung’s hair with a bunny ear headband.

“Uhh…. I-”

“Actually, I don’t want you to see the final product until we’re done with everything.” Hongjoong decided for him, before turning his seat away from the mirror and spritzing something floral scented on his face. “Just sit back and let me work my magic, okay?”

He didn’t even have time to respond before Hongjoong started rubbing various creams and such on his face, and for the next hour was just a flurry of more goop, soft brushing on his face as he looked up at the elder concentrating on his work. He wasn’t a stranger to makeup, he had worn it for a few times going out, but the last time he was in this possible he basically had to be held down as shit was slapped onto his face, but why was he enjoying basically being pampered this time?

It only got annoying when Hongjoong essentially started poking his eyes with literal sticks and pulled out a tube of literal glue.

“Is that GLUE???” he asked, leaning back in his chair and staring at the medieval torture device looking thing Hongjoong held in his other hand. "Are you glueing HAIR to my EYES??????"

“Yes, but it won’t hurt you, you scaredy cat. Now come here and let me finish.” Hongjoong held his chin tightly in his hand. “AND STOP SQUINTING SO HARD!!”

He somehow got over his fear of Hongjoong blinding him, cracking open his eyes and feeling an unfamiliar weight on them.

"This is kind of weird..." he blinked a few times, resisting the urge to rub his eyes. "What-"

His remaining pride took a fatal hit when he felt Hongjoong tuck his hair back under a wig, the familiar pinching on his head taking him back to the fateful day that he almost gave San a concussion.

“Wow, I guess the amount I spent on this thing was worth it because it looks super realistic.” Hongjoong mused, brushing the strands of hair out of Wooyoung’s face, which was turning more and more red by the second.

For the most part, it went smoothly, Hongjoong thought.

“Wooyoung, hear me out when I say I did not think a crusty frat boy like you would come out as cute as you are right now.” he gushed while painting the younger’s lips with his prized YSL tint. “How have you never considered doing this for money before?”

“Maybe it’s because I never did drag until I was forced to?” he scoffed, rubbing his lips together on Hongjoong’s command.

“Wait until you see yourself when I’m finished, I don’t think you’ll ever want to make money another way after.” he snickered, before disappearing into his closet.

Wooyoung had the urge to face the mirror to see exactly what Hongjoong had done to him, but the elder returned before he could even turn his head.

“Put all of this on, I’ll add a few more touches, and we should head downtown soon.” he instructed before dumping a pile of clothes into Wooyoung’s arms and pushing him into his giant closet.

“W-Wait, will the clothes even fit?”

“You’re pretty small, and around my height, it’ll be fine!” he chirped before closing the closet door.

Luckily, there was a sensor light in the closet that turned on, and the amount of clothes that were around Wooyoung made him wonder exactly what Hongjoong or his family did for him to afford a giant walk-in closet, the entire Sephora stock, and a single bedroom apartment for himself.

He dumped the pile of clothes at his feet, and seeing some of the things on the ground, his cheeks flushed a bright pink.

“Hongjoong, who the hell is gonna see what I’m wearing INSIDE???” he yelled from the closet, afraid to even touch the lacey underwear despite taking numerous pairs off of girls in the past.

Also how the fuck do you put on a bra.

He had only taken them _OFF_ of girls.

“If you wear your boxers with the outfit, they’ll show~” was the only response he got. “Would you like me to come in and hel-”

“ **NEVERMIND**.”

After much difficulty and about 10 minutes of contemplating his life choices that led him to where he was, he managed to wiggle into the underwear and the itchy blouse Hongjoong had given him, utterly surprised that he could even fit.

Wooyoung had held up the tiny skirt for what felt like forever, noting that it was definitely just as short as the cheerleader skirt that was still on his bed back at his apartment. It wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate a short skirt once in a while, but you know, they were usually ON GIRLS.

He took one last gulp, pulled the piece of fabric on and tucked the blouse in, still not used to the strange breeze running up his bare legs.

Wooyoung bit down on his lip, his ears and face growing hotter by the second.

Was it just him or did it feel even shorter when he wore it?

'Why do I feel like the biggest pervert right now..?'

"How am I supposed to walk around like this?" he huffed and attempted to pull the hem of the skirt down, but it wouldn't go past its mid-thigh length.

The pinchy shoes didn’t help either. There was only a small heel but he could already feel himself tripping over his own two feet right in front of San and whoever else he was supposed to meet.

He purposely tried avoiding the closet mirror right behind him, as a tiny glance earlier had already made him scared to see how the final product looked.

....Did he look passable, at least? And not obviously a man in a skirt?

“Wooyoung sweetie, are you done?” Hongjoong stood outside of the closet, leaning against the wall and growing giddier with every passing second.

“Hongjoong, I don’t know if I can do this anymore…” he heard the younger say quietly. Wooyoung didn’t even notice that he was already playing with a long strand of his new hair out of nervousness.

“Come ON, Wooyoung, there’s no backing out now when Sannie needs saving from some psycho het bitch!!” he suddenly grew impatient, grabbing the closet door and opening it for himself. “Now LET ME SEE MY WORK!!”

“Oh. My. God.”

The longest minute of silence.

“ _Wooyoungie~~!!_ ” 

Oh, lord.

Hongjoong threw herself at the younger, pulling him into a tight hug that required a lot more strength than someone his size. He showered him with compliments, placing them in between his incessant squealing.

“Wooyoung, you’re so pretty~ The skirt makes your legs look amazing~ Ah, why do you look so good in falsies? You actually look so innocent like this, who knew!! My baby~” he gushed.

“This doesn’t make me… gay or anything, remember that.” was the only thing he could muster, followed by a quieter. “I’m **not** a baby!”

“Sannie is going to fall head over heels for you all over again.” Hongjoong pulled him to the floor length mirror in the bedroom before he could properly process his reflection.

……..Uh, **who the hell was that**?

Large eyes framed by long lashes, a glowing complexion, and pink rosebud lips made him wonder if it was just makeup or straight up black magic. He knew his face had always been more on the “softer” side but everything Hongjoong did made him look like the epitome of a pretty girl and not a perverted dude doing this for a quick buck.

‘Me……? _Pretty_ …..?’ it even felt weird to think that, whilst scanning his reflection up and down. ‘Was this how I looked before??’

He hadn’t even bothered to look in the mirror before walking into the gym in his cheerleader get-up the other day since he figured he could’ve saved his pride and masculinity by not looking at himself, but this was utterly shocking to him.

The soft curls of the wig that framed his face reached down to his chest and smoothed out the harsher edges of his jawline, and Hongjoong had put tiny white clips into his wig that matched the earrings he wrestled onto him earlier. He didn’t look as broad as he thought in the get up, his top even hiding his shoulders and the skirt giving him the tiny waist he didn’t know he had. And not that he would ever admit this…

...but he never thought a skirt would make his butt look this good.

“I….” the voice coming out of his mouth definitely didn’t match his appearance, taking him aback. “Wha… How..What did you-?”

“Ugh, Wooyoungie, I’m so jealous of your tiny ass waist, you might even look better in skirts than I do..”

“I don’t know if that’s an accomplishment..” he said, not being able to tear his eyes away from the mirror. He attempted to pull down the skirt to avail, awkwardly deciding to just play with the hem.

“It is, sweetie.” Hongjoong emphasized the last word, giving Wooyoung butt a quick slap that he thought he normally would’ve brushed off since he had received so many from his teammates before. Instead, he yelped and scrambled to hold down his skirt, resulting in a highly amused Hongjoong. “Aww, is our pretty little Woo all shy now~? I never thought I would see you like this.”

“Um, do you.….. not wear anything over your underwear?” he gingerly asked the elder, his hand securely on the back of his skirt. “What if the wind blows it up or something..?”

“Then you’ll be giving everybody a great show.” he winked and patted him on the back. “I’m so glad you fit into my clothes, I have **so** much more planned.”

This was definitely not what he signed up for.

* * *

**Top 10 Worst Wooyoung Moments.**

Getting his bra stuffed by a man he barely knew in a hotel lobby bathroom was one of them.

To be clear, the _girl’s_ bathroom.

With some girls giving him questionable looks in the mirror, he avoided eye contact as Hongjoong proceeded to shove stuff down the front of his blouse.

“Is that it?” Wooyoung looked down and up at Hongjoong, who had changed into the same outfit he had met him in the night Hongjoong had taken him up as his new project.

“What about ‘em?”

“Nothing, I just thought they’d be…... bigger.”

“Big boobs? Child…..” Hongjoong gave him a look, rolling up another stocking. “We’re not trying to make you look like you just something done....”

Wooyoung made eye contact with a girl washing her hands at the sink, quickly looking away in panic before she could realize that he was a man in drag.

“Okay, so you know what you’re going to say to him when you see him right?” Hongjoong asked.

“........uh.”

“God, Wooyoung, do you know how to act?”

“Yeah, not as a girl though?” he hissed quietly. “Don’t they just twirl their hair and pout and get everything they want?”

“I mean…… you’re not wrong.” Hongjoong admitted. “Now come here and let me fix your makeup, it got a little smudged on the way here.”

“Is all of this really necessary?” Wooyoung asked as Hongjoong wiped away something near his eye. “I doubt it’s gonna take very long, I’ll say hi to him and go.”

“Go big or go home.”

“..Can I go home?”

“Nice try.” Hongjoong scoffed, pulling the younger out of the bathroom and peeking around the corner into the hotel restaurant. “Oh, he’s already here??”

“San?” Wooyoung leaned over Hongjoong, spotting the familiar blonde streak in his hair neatly combed back. He was wearing a neatly pressed, expensive-looking coat and a simple white shirt black slack combo. Normally Wooyoung thought layering expensive looking clothes looked tacky, but something about the guy was different. “Oh, he looks…”

“Like a snack? Absolutely correct.” 

“I was about to say like an expensive skunk but..”

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. 

“Oh shoot, he’s coming this way, Wooyoung get ready!!”

He could barely process what he had said because he was thinking about how much his skirt was riding up before Hongjoong dug his nails into his arm and basically swung him out into the corridor.

“WAIT, get ready for wha- AGH!” he felt himself being LAUNCHED out from behind the wall, the fear that he was about to fall flat on his face taking over his body. He could feel his feet slip under him and prepared himself for the impact on the fancy hotel floor.

He was already in drag, how much more embarrassing could it be?

The cold marble floor never hit though.

“..are you okay?”

The voice made every hair on the back of his neck stand up before he could even look at who caught him.

And when he did..

...Fuck.

Hongjoong was absolutely correct.

“.....Wooyoung…?” San prodded, looking at the person he held in his arms. “What are you…”

**..WHAT THE FUCK DID SAN LOOK SO GOOD FOR??**

“San!” Wooyoung greeted, his voice slightly cracking as he wriggled himself out of his arms. “..uh, _hi_!!”

“What are you doing here?” he looked at him up and down, from the itchy wig to his pinchy shoes. “..and dressed like this?”

“I guess I changed my mind..?” he answered carefully, giving him an awkward smile. “Sorry again for not contacting you.. if this makes things weird I can lea-”

San immediately grabbed his arm, his thumb firmly pressing into the sheer fabric of his blouse.

In San’s eyes, he thought Wooyoung looked even more radiant than the first time he met him (her?). Maybe it was the impeccably done makeup or the cute outfit, but his flushed cheeks and shy smile hit differently. Especially since this wasn’t in a barren locker room.

“Don’t leave. Please.”

_Oh._

“If anything, your timing is perfect. I just met with the girl my mother is trying to set me up with and it didn’t go too well because.. I straight up didn’t want to come today.” San admitted. “But if _you_ show up, I can give Mother dearest an excuse for why I seemed off today and why it pained me so much to turn my back to my lovely _girlfriend_.”

Wooyoung grimaced.

“Where’s your mom right now?”

“Probably still talking to the other family’s mother and trying to convince them that I’m straight.” San shrugged. “But as soon as she leaves, we can walk in like the happy couple we are and tell her the news.”

“Is that all we have to do today?” Wooyoung confirmed, tugging his skirt down again. “No weird stuff?”

“That should be enough!” he nodded. “Thank you so much for doing this for me again, I cannot tell you how much this is gonna-”

“It’s still two thousand for this, right?” Wooyoung popped the question out again, using it as a distraction from how nice San’s jawline was.

‘I’m jealous…’

“Oh.” San stopped, his smile dropping just the tiniest bit. “Uh.. yeah!! A deal is a deal! You can let me know how you want the money to go through later.”

“Sure..”

“Looks like Mother is mostly done talking with Minnie’s family.” San nodded towards the tearoom, where two older women and a younger girl stood.

The older women were both wearing fur coats Wooyoung could just tell were worth more than anything in his apartment, and the younger girl, presumably “Minnie”, stood tall and proud in a white fur jacket and perfectly styled dress and pearls.

Betcha none of that was faux fur.

It was only until the girl turned towards him that he almost felt his heart sink to his stomach. Out of all girls in the world...

Minnie Yontararak, the girl he had hooked up with and ghosted his freshman year after the first big game night of the season.

Also the girl that he ignored for however many times because she had some…. questionable preferences in the bedroom, that involved a safe word.

Honestly, just her resting bitch face struck fear into his bones.

“Shit..!” he hissed under breath, as she made eye contact with him and stared him down.

“What’s wrong?” San asked, looking between Minnie and Wooyoung. “Do you know her or something?”

“I do, but it’s not because of something good..” he turned his face, using part of his wig to try and cover his face. “I hella ghosted her freshman year..”

“Ah….” San nodded, watching Wooyoung become increasingly more nervous and hiding behind him as Minnie tapped on her mother’s shoulder, whispering something in her ear and pointing directly at the two. “I see.”

“Sannie?” his own mother called out to him. “What are you doing over there? Don’t be rude and come see Minnie off!”

“Fuck, I think she recognizes me!!” he heard the other whisper from behind him. “If this gets out to the team… I-”

“Do you trust me?”

“..What?”

“Sannie? Why are you just standing there?” his mother beckoned again, beginning to walk towards him with Minnie and her mother. “Do I really need to come over there?”

“Do you trust me?” San repeated.

“I mean, _not really_ but-”

“Don’t freak out. Please.”

“Huh?”

In one fluid motion, San pulled Wooyoung out from behind him, slid his arm around his waist, and leaned in.

He only processed what had happened when he felt another pair of lips on his.

What.

The.

**FUCKJSDFLKJASKLFJASKLAJSFSLJASK;Kjl**

Wooyoung could hear a collective gasp from the three females half a second into the kiss, and another quieter gasp probably from Hongjoong somewhere from the bathrooms. All he could do, however, was let San take the lead in whatever he had just pulled.

Half of him wanted to go rip off his wig and lock himself in his room and never come out again.

The other half, however, was frozen.

“CHOI SAN.” was the first thing both of them heard after San drew his head back, although Wooyoung was still in shock. “WHAT IS THE MEANING-”

“First of all, I want to extend my deepest apologies to Mrs Yontararak and Minnie for this entire situation.” it was like a polite demon had possessed San’s body, his voice dripping with honey. “To tell the truth, I didn’t want to defy my mother in coming to the meeting today, but I’ve been in a relationship for the past few weeks and I just wasn’t sure how to bring this up publicly while also protecting the wellbeing of both of us..”

The three simply stared at San, then to Wooyoung, then back to San.

Minnie’s mother let out a lighthearted chuckle.

“Oh, this reminds me of how my husband and I came to be!” she laughed. “Young love always seems forbidden, but please don’t apologize for simply being in a relationship! I’m so happy for you, San!”

“If I seemed off today, it might have been due to the guilt that I held in that I was seeing another woman while I’m still with my girlfriend. So I was so emotionally overwhelmed that immediately upon seeing her, I had to..”

“Sannie.. _you_ …” his mother started, her anger starting to simmer down.

“I apologize if it seemed like I was staring at you or your girlfriend.” Minnie spoke up, a smile breaking across her otherwise stoic face. “She just reminded me a lot of someone I knew..”

“Not a problem at all, Miss Yontararak.” San gave a small bow. “It was a pleasure meeting you today, and again I do apologize that this is how you saw me. I hope this incident doesn’t affect the good relationship our families currently have.”

“Of course not! I hope you and your partner have a long and lovely relationship.” Mrs Yontararak gushed, her arm looping with her daughter’s. “We should go, Minnie, we have an appointment later.”

“Thank you again, San- I mean, Mister Choi.” Minnie dipped into a small bow before being dragged away by her mother.

Now to deal with the real problem..

“Mother..” San began, as Wooyoung inched further away from the two.

“Humph.”

“Mother, I just want to say I’m sorry I didn’t mention anything earlier-”

“I’m not upset about that.”

“Then I’m sorry I publicly embarrassed you and-”

“Not quite that either.” Mrs Choi interrupted, stopping directly in front of Wooyoung and looking at him up and down.

He was paralyzed with fear. He never knew a middle aged woman would scare him like this.

“I’m sorry for the trouble…..” he managed to bob into a bow and squeak an apology out, in a voice that was a little more than a quarter of his normal volume.

Mrs Choi raised an eyebrow.

It was like a cold breeze blew about the room, his bare legs freezing even more than he already was.

Oh the **WAY** he was about to be found out.

…..but would he still get his $2K?

“I’m just heartbroken you didn’t introduce me to her earlier.”

…. _uh_?

“Mother, I know you’re very particular about family background and everything, and I-”

“I’m also most concerned about your grandkids, San.” his mother corrected him. “And with your gene combination I’ll be showing off all of them to my book club!”

Wooyoung made eye contact with San, basically having a silent conversation with just their expressions.

‘Did she buy it??’

‘I think she actually really likes you!!’

‘ _What the f-_ ’

“Let me get a better look at you, sweetie.” Mrs Choi stood in front of Wooyoung, who slowly raised his head and gulped. “Why does it look like you’re about to break down in tears, there’s nothing about me that you need to be afraid of~”

Well, this was definitely going better than expected.

“Sannie, if she was _this_ tall and pretty, why would you not tell me?” his mother playfully hit him on the arm. “I was only worried about you since it didn’t seem like you were interested in any girls, but you managed to find one like this~!”

Wooyoung found it kind of ironic that she was talking about him as if he wasn’t there, but it wasn’t like he was in any room to complain in this situation.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

Oh, **shit**.

Both San and his mother looked at him expectedly.

“Jung….” he started, trying to rack his brain for anything. Suddenly he forgot every female name ever. “Jung…. Woojoo.”

“I love Jungs!!” Mrs Choi exclaimed. “What a beautiful and unusual name too..”

San found Wooyoung’s hand, lacing his fingers in his.

“Again mother, I’m sorry you found out so abruptly.” San cleared his throat, putting on the act of the loyal son again. “But I really am happy in this relationship.”

“I’m just so happy you finally found the girl of your dreams, Sannie.” his mother gushed. “Woojoo, don’t be afraid to call me Mother as well~!”

Wooyoung wanted to **GAG**.

“Okay!” he got out with a tight smile.

A nudge from San.

“Okay… _Mother!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer any joke i make about any idol in here is again, a JOKE-

**Author's Note:**

> ill leave what the cheerleader uniform looks like up to your imagination :^)
> 
> note: joong is genderfluid in this au- so he doesnt mind when san or ppl close to him refer to him as either he/she pronouns!!


End file.
